Over the last month Capt. M has been struggling at school. Normally he is eager to please his teacher and helpful. I was shocked to receive a note home stating that he refused to do his classwork and made a paper airplane out of a worksheet he was supposed to complete. His teacher asked for a conference because this was not the first time that he had shutdown in class in the past two weeks.
At Capt. M’s Thanksgiving feast the next day, he said to me “mom I want to show you something.” He took me to a wall of projects the class had done. Capt. M’s drawing and writing was all about the loss of our dog Clemens. With very sad eyes Capt. M looked at me and I knew that his acting out behavior had to do with the loss of Clemens.
Capt. M is not a good communicator. He usually acts out with anger instead of expressing his feelings with words. I knew that he was upset about the loss of Clemens, but I had no idea that it was effecting him so much.
It has now been one month since his passing. Last night Capt. M was in his bedroom laying in his bed when he called for me. He was obviously upset- on the verge of tears. When I asked what was bothering him he simply said in a whisper “Clemens“. To try to lift his mood, I sprang into action and decided we should make a plaster ornament for Clemens!
If you notice a change in your child’s behavior, assess what is going on at a deeper level. I would have never thought that the passing of our dog would be so heavy on Capt. M’s heart. I now attribute his acting out as part of his mourning process and lack of communication skills. We are now working with him on using words to express feelings.
Remember that some events may not have a significant impact in your daily life, but may greatly impact your children. Especially when they don’t know how to express the feelings they are having!
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